


Crawl Into My Heart

by Catatonica



Category: Venom (Comics), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, I'm all in for the monster romance, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Love, Love Confessions, Mild Hurt/Comfort, One Shot Collection, Other, Short & Sweet, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:48:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27576079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catatonica/pseuds/Catatonica
Summary: Eddie x Venom x Reader collection with lots of fluff, hurt, comfort and love.
Relationships: Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote, Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote/Reader, Venom/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 83





	1. The feelings we're feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if there are any mistakes, English isn't my first language but I'm trying my best! :)

  
It was an unwritten rule between you three: The day belonged to you and Eddie, the night to you and Venom. Because of your changing shift schedule, you were a night owl, staying up all night long. Your sleep rhythm was a lottery, you hardly knew what your everyday life would be like the next week.   
Eddie and Venom knew that and they both cared about you. Each in his own way: Eddie made sure that you slept as often as possible and that there was always some good food in the fridge. Venom, on the other hand, showered you with attention at night, and the black tendrils of their alien form traced your body in search of some bare skin. Venom loved to wrap their tendrils around your forearms like a snake, between your fingers as if they were holding your hand.   
But they never did that during the day, not when Eddie spent time with you. It was something that only happened when Eddie was asleep. Then Venom was only too happy to take over his body and explore his own intimacy with you.   
The symbiote must have been sifting through Eddie's memories in search of gestures of affection. You were pretty sure that this alien life form was not a big fan of cuddling when they were still wandering around in space.   
"Hey, Venom. Can I ask you something?" You looked up, up at the head of the giant creature. Together you sat on the sofa, you on the lap of the symbiote, with the controller of your console in your hands. Venom had his arms wrapped around your waist, nestled itself against your back and gave a deep growl - it sounded almost like the purring of a cat.   
" **What would you like to ask, morsel?** " they replied, pressing their head a little more into the crook of your neck. You sighed slightly under this tender gesture, but something was making you uncomfortable. " **You can ask us anything.** "  
You paused your game and took a quick look at the clock on the wall. Was it really already half past three? Damn it, you had almost spent the whole night playing video games again!   
"Is Eddie asleep?" you asked, turning slightly, looking up at Venom. "Or is he up?"  
The symbiote hesitated briefly, but then put its head slightly tilted. They gave you a curious look.  
" **Eddie's asleep.** "   
"Good." With a faint groan you peeled yourself from their grip and lifted yourself up, which Venom allowed to happen, but it seemed irritated by your behavior. "Because I want to talk. To you."   
"To me?", they repeated and you heard the slightest hint of insecurity. You knew about their abandonment issues, the emotional attachment and the fear of being alone. Eddie was plagued by the same fears, but that's not what you were concerned with at that moment. You didn't want to unsettle your unusual partner, but it was time for a conversation long overdue.   
  


You had been living together with them for half a year already, you had a strange relationship that yet fulfilled each of you. You loved Eddie the human and Venom the symbiote. Both of them.  
In the beginning it was a bit unusual, kind of weird - but they soon proved to be a wonderful addition to your life. But something had been bothering you for some time, it was the subliminal feeling that Venom didn't seem to trust you.   
It hurt.  
  


White eyes were watching you attentively, they even tilted their head in question.   
" **Eddie and I share everything. You know that.** " they said slowly and the deep, trembling voice almost took you away from your intention. But you wanted to know exactly what was going on here!   
"I know, V. That's why I don't want you to wake Eddie. I just want to talk to you about this, okay?"  
They hesitated, but ran their black claws over your shoulder. Slowly, they nodded.  
" **Okay.** "  
"Good." You sat down a bit, still on Venom's lap but now nervous instead of relaxed. "Because my question only concerns you and me. Only us."  
The symbiote swayed its head to the other side, waiting for you to continue to form your words. Such patience was something you seldom see in them. Did they sense your tension?  
" **You are nervous.** " Ah, that answered your question, of course. They sensed such things, how foolish of you. " **Why?** "  
You took a second to breathe. What were you so afraid of, anyway?   
  
  


_What if Venom only tolerates me because they love Eddie?_   
  
  


"When we both spend time together without Eddie, it feels-it feels different," you finally said and the tension made your heart beat wildly in your chest.   
" **Different?** " Venom's claws dropped from your shoulder. You immediately missed their touch and regretted even bringing up the subject. " **What do you mean, morsel?** "   
"It's hard to describe..." you muttered and looked evasively to the side. "As if there was some kind of wall between you and me. It's not the kind of emotional intimacy I have with Eddie."   
Venom's throat escaped a deep rumble, and in an instant you knit your brows. You had never heard a sound like that from him before. It wasn't threatening, more like... disappointed? Hurt? Did you just hurt their feelings?  
  
Venom pushed you off and got up, left you alone on the sofa and went to the window. The symbiote was staring outside, at the lights of San Francisco. They huffed.  
" **You only want Eddie. Alone.** " they rumbled softly. " **We understand.** "   
"What the-" You stood up too and shook your head slightly. "What? No, Venom, that's not-"  
The colossus turned to you and their white eyes narrowed slightly. Oh no, did they get that wrong? Damn it, that was the exact opposite of what you wanted!   
" **We are... different. A hunter. Dangerous.** " the symbiote continued quietly. " **We understand that you do not want us.** "   
This had gone too far! Venom putting those words in your mouth was too much and you got slightly angry at this point.  
"That's not true at all!" you immediately replied. Surprised, their eyes widened a little, but they quickly hid that impulse. "V, where do you come up with such nonsense?"   
" **We thought-** "  
With a 'tsk' you made them shut up and put your hands on your hips.   
"Venom, if you insinuate that I want to get rid of you, I'm going to kick your ass!"   
You sighed and gestured towards the sofa. They followed your request and the furniture groaned under their enormous weight. We'll need a new couch soon, it shot through your head. But that wasn't the point now, it was much more important to finally clarify these uncertainties.   
You put your hands on Venom's shoulders - your hands looked so ridiculously small given their enormous stature - and pressed a kiss between their eyes. An irritated noise escaped their throat, half delighted and half confused.   
"Venom, I just have the feeling that you only tolerate me because of Eddie. Because we're together, you know." You said softly. It was really hard to open up to an alien life form like that. But this emotional openness was also hard for you when talking to other humans. "You and Eddie have such a special relationship, so unique. I feel... redundant."   
" **No, Morsel.** " Venom wrapped their arms around your waist and jerked you into a hug. You gasped in surprise, but you knew they were just trying to reassure you. " **We don't mean it that way!** "   
Relieved, you let the symbiote embrace you, pressed your upper body against their raw muscles and took a long breath. Putting your fear into words had cost you a lot of effort, more than you initially thought. Venom felt your insecurity and you also noticed that they were very tense, too. Apparently you both needed to talk.   
" **When you spend time with Eddie, we feel left out. Locked door. Not wanted.** " you heard the dark rumble from him. " **We feel bad. Small.** "   
"You don't have to." you immediately replied and straightened yourself up. Lovingly you wrapped your arms around their broad neck and pressed a kiss on their face. "I enjoy the time with you. With both of you."  


That did not have the desired effect. Venom growled softly, so softly that you could hardly hear it. Your assurance didn't seem to calm them, not to take away the fear that was still lurking deep down.   
"I enjoy the time with you," you tried it now. "V, I really enjoy spending my nights with you. Just you and me."   
They pressed themselves against you again - they seemed to want to hear that. In the end, did they had the same insecurity as you?   
"I love you. And I don't mean you two, V - I love you. As an individual," you assured them and pressed a long, emphatic kiss between their eyes. They closed them, only two white slits left and a deep purr escaped their chest.   
You had never said this so directly to your beloved symbiote before, you noticed it at that moment. No wonder they felt excluded.   
"Because you are strong." Another kiss for Venom, another pleasant sigh escaped them. "And because you protect me." Another kiss. "And because you are always there for me." Venom became impatient with the third kiss. They ran their tongue down your cheek and made you laugh. It was sticky and warm, but clearly a loving gesture on their part.   
" **We love you, too, morsel.** " they rumbled and pressed you a little closer to their chest. They hesitated briefly. " **I mean... I love you. As an individual.** "  
How could an alien organism be so sweet?! This mix of muscles and teeth snuggled up to you like a cat and wanted to make even closer contact with your body at all costs. Black strands crawled silently across your arms, ran between your fingers and gently caressed your skin. Venom preferred to show you their affection by touching and protecting you - and to spend their nights with you.   
As much as you loved Eddie, you loved Venom as much as you loved your human partner. Maybe you should tell them more often.   
  


"Venom, I know you're connected to Eddie, but can you... can you feel my feelings... by connecting to me?" It was difficult to explain your idea, but you wanted to show the symbiote how much you loved them.   
" **You mean a connection.** " Their black tendrils now entwined themselves around your hand, warming the skin, and admittedly tickling it a little. " **Between you and me. Us.** "   
"Yes," you replied breathlessly, eager to see if it would work. "Just for a moment, I just-"  
Your words were smothered as the symbiote passed through your skin, laid down in your nerve tracts and took over your brain.   
  
  


_**Not too much. Just a little bit. Don't want to hurt you.** _   
  
  


Venom's voice was in your head, yet they were still sitting on the sofa with you. They were still connected to Eddie, you felt him, far away - but he was also partly in your head. Both were there, Eddie dull and sleeping - was he dreaming? - and Venom was there too, but much more present than Eddie.   
The symbiote explored your mind, gently and carefully. All the time you thought about how much you loved them, how much you enjoyed their company and how much they meant to you. Like a mantra you repeated these thoughts so that they would experience your love as intense as possible.   
  
  


_**Our morsel loves us very much**_ , you heard the voice in your head. _**Feels good and warm. Whole.**_  
  
  


Venom withdrew, left your head and for a moment this feeling of emptiness hurt. But the echo of their own feelings remained in you and you enjoyed the feeling of their love for you. Eddie was still asleep, dreaming of his favorite movie and so these emotions could only be Venom's feelings for you.   
If your love was warm and omnipresent, Venom's love was wild and deep. They needed you, their thoughts were full of you - your smell, your voice and the pleasant feeling of your skin on their body. Your closeness was a need, a gift and by far their favorite way to spend their time. These were feelings that venom could probably never really put into words.   
"We should do this more often," you said softly and let yourself be pulled into a firm, warm embrace.   
  



	2. Control - Part 01

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part one of the mutant!Reader series :)  
> also Venom being the damsel in distress is... *chef's kiss*
> 
> // blood

  
They were late.   
Nervously you looked at the clock on the wall, pressed your lips together. They should have been back four hours ago. It was almost half past seven, breakfast was ready and you were still waiting for your two boyfriends. Where were they? There was nothing in the news that would have stopped them from coming home in time.   
"Shit..." you cursed softly and went into the bedroom. From the closet you grabbed a pair of pants, a sweater and put on a scarf. You had to look for them, because what if they were in danger? Venom was strong, Eddie was smart - and both of them together loved to get carried away.   
  


The street was still quiet, just people driving to work or walking the dog. You looked around briefly, left and right, as if the two of them would suddenly appear. Of course that was not the case, to your frustration.   
Usually they always kept their promises, especially for breakfast they always showed up on time.   
"Shit, where are you two?" you muttered into the soft fabric of your scarf and looked at your phone again. No message, no call, nothing. Just a stupid Facebook message about your aunt's birthday. Part of you expected the world to share your concern. Someone, anyone, should acknowledge how much you cared about your two loved ones. How much you worried about their well-being.   
You couldn't call the police, the news didn't mention any disasters and you didn't know where to look. Hope started to fade and but desperately clung onto it.   
Should you have left a note in the kitchen? In case they came home when you were away? Your concern grew more and more, fear crept in. What if something had really happened to them? Undecided, you dialed a phone number and hesitated briefly. Were you perhaps overreacting? Eddie and Venom were very good at taking care of themselves. Together, they were strong.   
  


_No, something's wrong here._ Your inner voice confirmed your fears. _They are in danger. Need to act NOW!  
  
_

You pressed 'dial' and listened into the dial tone of your phone. _Please pick up the phone, please...!_

Click. "Hello?"

"Kayla!" you groan with relief. "Oh, thank God you're there. I need your help."  
Brief silence on the line where your heart stopped - please don't hang up! Please, please, please... - then a sigh.   
"Do you have any idea how early it is...? Damnit- What do you need?" asked the annoyed woman at the other end. "You know very well that I'll get in trouble-"  
"I have lost someone." you replied immediately, lowering your voice a little when passers-by looked at you with irritated glances. "It's complicated. I must find that someone, please!"  
"Not even a 'hello', just another one of those shitty favors...", Kayla rumbled and you heard the clatter of a keyboard in the background. "Give me the data. You know the drill."  
"Large, 7'8". Black body and lots of teeth. Their thoughts are feral, wild and sometimes a little pervert, not gonna lie-"  
"Wait a second, what the- You're looking for Venom?!", it came from the other end of the line and you flinched. Ah, gotcha. Wasn't surprising though, given that description.  
"Yeah, I..."  
"I don't want to know, really. You're crazy...", Kayla rumbled and entered the data. "Hang on."  
You waited obediently, listening to the familiar crackle as Kayla used her powers to scan the city for the right bio-signature.   
"At the docks. Warehouse T-366. Vital signs are weak yet stable. There's a lot going on, so be careful." Kayla finally reported after a silent minute. You gasped for breath because your fear had proven to be right. Venom and Eddie were in danger!   
"Thanks Kayla, I really owe you!" you immediately thanked your former teammate and gasped heavily. This was bad, real bad!   
"You owe me a lot anyway," she growled on the other end of the line. "Give me a call when you're not having a crisis. I'd love to hear the story of how you started dating a freaky alien monster."  
"I will. Thank you. I will." You hung up and ran through your hair, almost running to the next train station. You had to get to the docks as fast as possible!  


Most of the ships in San Francisco Bay were sailing ships, beautiful little boats owned by rich people. The industrial area, however, was gloomy and run-down, even in the soft light of the early day. The area looked like something out of a bad detective movie and the people near one of the warehouses did the same. Since there was so much going on outside the T-366 warehouse, they had to be there. The quantities of weapons and body armor also suggested that they were there.   
  


You pressed your back against the wall of the neighboring hall, heard the metallic clanging of equipment inside, and concentrated on hall T-366. Through the talk of the armed men - probably mercenaries - you could hear a deep rumble. In the hall there was a loud clang, a scream, and finally the ground beneath your feet vibrated. The shrill screeching of Venom was the result and you almost felt the pain of the symbiote in your own chest. You had to use some kind of sonic technique to keep them in check.   
"I hope I am not rusty..." you muttered pleadingly and pulled your hood over your head. Damn, you hadn't done something like that for a long time! This was a life you didn't want to get back to, but you had no choice.   
You would literally do anything to save Eddie and Venom.   
  


_Anything._

In one leap you had already jumped over the wire mesh fence and were stared at stupidly by two armed guards. It took them a second to perceive you as a threat and pull up their guns, but you were faster.   
  


_Concentrate on the center of the object._ Said your inner voice. _Now **pull**. _  
  


The rifles shattered into countless small parts, disintegrating into the simplest of components, leaving the guards so unarmed. One of them screamed out in horror behind his mask, but you diverted your telekinetic abilities to him. The man flew into the air, screaming all the louder, only to finally crash into one of the metal containers and lie motionless on the ground.  
"MUTANT!" the other one yelled and that was his last word before you let him fly over the entire forecourt of the hall as well. Immediately you were swarmed by mercenaries, they came crawling out of every corner. Invisible hands broke into the concrete at your feet, pulled up the broken pieces and protected you from the hail of bullets. The floating debris around you was an excellent shield, caught almost every bullet and only once you were almost hit by one.   
No, you were certainly not rusty. The forces inside you were impatient, wanted to get out and finally be used to their fullest extent again. The invisible hands dismantled the mercenaries' weapons, threw concrete lumps and nearby metal boxes at them. One mercenary after the other fell, was hurled around and simply torn apart by your strength. Blood splashed through the air, covering the ground and drowning many panicky death cries right in their throats. Your goal was the warehouse, you had to find Eddie and Venom and free them - but slowly the fighting became fun again.   
For a few minutes you were an agent again, were again in distant parts of the world and earned bloody money, and plenty of it.   
  


_More!_ The voice in your head became erratic. _More blood, **more**!_   
  


You had to fight the voice, shut it out and silence it. Losing control would be fatal, because even Venom would not be equal to your malicious voice. Control was important, essential. Without control, you were just one of the monsters that were being chased by your boyfriends at night.   
  


The gate to the hall was broken open by you, metal screamed under the heavy weight of your powers. You bent the metal as if it was mere cardboard, ripped the heavy gate as if it was nothing. The invisible hands attacked everything you focused on. People, machines, weapons were useless against your almost inhuman strength. However, the thread that held the control became thinner. If you did this much longer, it would tear. Where was Venom?   
More bullets welcomed you, but you just picked up the remains of the metal gate and intercepted them. Your eyes wandered through the warehouse, a mercenary threw a smoke grenade at you - as if that would do any damage, honestly. A force field kept the biting smoke away from you while you continued to look around the hall.   
In the back, in the shadows of a wall - was a metal box. Sonic weapons were aimed at it, a clear proof of its contents. The box was big, big enough to hold a human with alien symbiote inside.   
A shot almost grazed you and you looked up - snipers had placed themselves on the railing at the ceiling of the hall. Unfortunately for them, because what you could see - you could also attack. The invisible hands grabbed the knife of a dead mercenary and threw it up to the roof. The sniper cried out as the blade dug into his throat and only the handle peered out. The thread of control got thinner, time was running out.   
  


_Tear them apart! Rip them to bits!!_ , the voice in your head screamed. You had to hurry. Your control drowned in a sea of darkness and blood, rage and thirst for violence. You only had minutes left before it was over, before you became _dangerous_.  
  


"Venom!" you shouted throughout the commotion. "Are you okay?!"  
The point between the atoms came into your focus, you concentrated all your strength on the metal box that served as Venom's prison. You could _feel_ them in there, alive but in pain.  
The devices, which were equipped with speakers, had to keep them in check. With playful ease, you simply wiped it aside and tore the metal apart within seconds. The voice in your head screeched in excitement at the sound of the metal being torn apart.  
Your heart stopped for a moment when you saw the chains. Venom had not only been tortured by them with the high-pitched frequencies - the metal fuses on their arms, legs and neck were electrified and heated. Sound and heat, someone knew how to harm the symbiote.   
"Oh shit!", you cursed softly and wrestled with control as the anger rose inside your chest. "What have they done to you?!"  
The invisible hands grasped the chains and broke the material until there were hardly any crumbs left. The gigantic figure of your two boyfriends collapsed on the ground, shook their massive head and rumbled deeply.   
"Venom!" Immediately you rushed towards them, wrapped your arms around their neck and cursed again. Your heart ached at the sight of them, they were really hurt and healing the wounds would take more than a few minutes. Anger flared up again, but two powerful hands tore you out of the dark abyss. Sharp claws clung to you, relieved and grateful.   
" **Morsel.** " Venom's deep voice was fragile and weak, exhausted and powerless. Even being as strong as Venom did not make one indestructible, you thought grimly.   
" **Way too dangerous.** " they rumbled and pressed their forehead against yours. " **You shouldn't be here.** "  
"This time I'm saving you, whether you like it or not," you replied forcefully. "How's Eddie?"  
" **He's not badly hurt. I protected him the whole time.** " Venom sounded a little proud that they had protected their human partner from harm. They protected Eddie despite being in so much pain, you thought, kind of relieved. They have all the right to be proud of themselves.  
"Who are these guys?" you asked and stood up, pulling Venom to their feet with you. "They seemed to know exactly how to get you. How to hurt you."   
" **We don't know.** " said Venom, and let the gaze wander through the warehouse. " **Our morsel really messed these guys up. Heh.** " Admiration resonated in their voice, clearly audible despite the obvious exhaustion. The white eyes looked down at you, narrowed a little. They knew.   
"I'm fine, really," you assured them immediately. "Even though it was close."  
A discontented growl came out of their throat and the symbiote put their hand on your shoulder. They knew you could take care of yourself, but there was some serious concern about your mental condition. They knew about the pros and cons of your powers, but sometimes you couldn't avoid using them.   
"Let's just go home," you said, wiping some blood from your face with your sleeve. "I need a shower."  
Venom snorted approvingly.   
" **Yeah, us too.** " 


	3. Control - Part 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part 02 of the mutant!Reader series :D   
> lots of angst in this one!
> 
> //blood

  
_Blood._

  
_Screaming._

  
Your lungs were burning and there was smoke scratching your throat. When you looked down, all you saw was all that blood on your uniform and hands. The thread that held the control became thinner, the smell of blood tore at it until finally - the thread broke.   
Darkness enveloped you, penetrated your skin and melted into your tissues. Every thought became hot and bright, boiled over and flooded your brain with stimuli. You were alone. Why were you alone? Where were Eddie and Venom? Had they left you because you were going to hurt them?  
  


You would never lay a finger on them. You loved them with every fiber of your being!  
  


 _More blood._ The dull rumble of metal sounded in your ears and the crackle of flames sent shivers down your back. The shrill screech of Venom echoed in your ears. Pain was heard in their screams and they begged for mercy.   
  


_No, no, no! Would never hurt him, never-_

  
"Fuck, babe, are you okay?!" Eddie grabbed you by the shoulders, pushed you back onto the mattress and you looked into his worried eyes. You were sweaty, your fingers were shaking and for a split second you didn't recognize the man in front of you. Then you remembered - Eddie, your beloved Eddie and Venom. The black tendrils came out from under Eddie's shirt, ran anxiously over the skin on your arms and held you gently.   
"You were whimpering in your sleep and then screaming. Shit, are you okay?" He was all messed up, confused and held you in his arms as best he could.   
"Yes." The darkness receded with every touch of them, with every second you felt their presence. The pale echo of your nightmare echoed in your skull, the screams and _blood_.  
" **Your pulse races.** " Venom pressed himself against your neck, checking your vital signs, and a worried trembling ran through the thin vines. " **Your body temperature is elevated. You have a fever.** "   
"I'm fine." Your lips were dry and aching when you answered them mechanically. Your body felt sore.  
"Yeah, no, I don't think so." Eddie muttered to himself and pushed his hands under your torso to pull you up from the bed. "V, what do you think?"  
More black strands ran over your skin, examining every inch of bare skin they could reach, until you finally wiped them away with a growl. Venom withdrew, startled by your harsh movement. Usually you were always so loving towards the symbiote, it didn't suit you to be so rough.   
You noticed that too in that moment and you shook your head, dispersing the last remains of your nightmare. With a quiet apology to the two of them, you fended them off and stood up, wavering for a short moment. Immediately Eddie was on the spot. His hands reached for your arm, he wanted to support you, but his touch upset you instantly. Like you were weak, that's how they treated you!  
But you were not weak, _no_. You were stronger than them - _much, much stronger_...   
  


_Focus_. The voice in your head increased every day since you rescued Venom and Eddie from the mercenaries. _Focus. Show them how well you're doing. Let them feel your power._  
  


" **Morsel. _Our Love_.**" Venom took over Eddie's body, even as he tried to fight it. " **Something's wrong. You've been having bad dreams for days. We can tell something's different**."   
"I'm fine, V," you immediately replied in a cutting voice. "Please just mind your own business, okay?! I know you mean well, but-"  
" **That's not what we mean.** " Their voice was somber, a little offended by your cool rejection. You were sorry you had hurt them like that. Why have you been so irritable these past few days? " **Your body chemistry is different. Unusual. The fever, the moods. You are sick.** "   
"You've been secretly monitoring my body chemistry," you said angrily. The anger inside you flared up, turned against Venom and tugged at your control again. What kind of sleeping monster had you awakened with your rescue operation? "How dare you?! You are invading my privacy. But you never let it bother you before, right?!"  
Irritated by your sudden burst of rage, the symbiote examined you questioningly. The two of them seemed to be thinking about what to do or say. Otherwise, you weren't so emotional, so irritable, and almost looking for a fight.   
" **We... didn't mean to upset you.** " Venom finally said. " **We're worried.** "  
"I don't want your concern! I'm fine!" You threw your hands in the air theatrically to make your statement more forceful. But in this gesture, the bedside lamp flew across the room, smashed against the opposite wall, leaving only a pile of broken glass and the lampshade.   
"Fuck," you curse softly. Okay, that didn't really support your argument. Rarely have you accidentally let things fly around. Extremely rarely.   
"I'm gonna take a shower," you growled and pushed yourself past the giant figure of Venom. You said nothing, but the symbiont retreated into Eddie and said something to him - but you could not understand the words. 

  
_They are afraid._ The voice in your head sounded triumphant. _**Good.**_

  
"That's not good," you mumbled softly in the shower. "These guys are Eddie and Venom, my partners! They're my best friends, maybe even my soul mates. I don't want them to be afraid of me."  
The voice was silent, but just waited for the next opportunity to gloat. To triumph. The voice had patience.  
If you used your powers too much, the voice came. It was not a living being, not a part of you - it was your power, the greed that was behind it. If this naive young Spiderman from New York claimed that with great power came great responsibility - then you knew exactly what he was talking about. Your responsibility was not to raze San Francisco to the ground.   
"Babe?" Eddie's voice came through the closed bathroom door and you flinched, for a moment forgetting where you were. The voice hissed, shaking your control and rushing against your two friends. "Babe, V and I-we're worried. We really are." 

  
_Fear. Not worry._

  
"I know," you replied choking, pushing the voice back into the darkness. "It's okay, I'll be done in a minute."   
You turned off the faucet - but strangely enough, you didn't even remember hwhen you had turned it on - and got out of the shower. With only a towel on, you wiped the steamed up mirror and tilted your head. Nothing had changed, you looked as usual. No unusual eye color, no sudden change in your hair color or similar crap. The circles under your eyes were dark, but that was because of the nightmares. Nothing on the outside suggested that you were losing control of your powers.   
Except for the occasional blackouts, maybe. Sometimes you lost whole minutes, suddenly standing in the kitchen or lying on the bed, not knowing how you got there. That's only happened since you had overused your powers that day at the docks. Had it perhaps been too close in the end? Did you awaken something deep inside of you?  
"Would you like some breakfast?" you heard the familiar voice behind the door. Eddie and Venom were so good to you, how could you lie to them? You weren't well. You weren't well at all.   
"Yes, in a minute!" you shouted to your friend and looked back into the mirror once more. For a split second, your reflection was red.   
  
  


_Blood._   
  
  


Your whole face was full of blood. Your first thought jumped to the movie Carrie and how ridiculous the girl looked with all that blood on her face. But the face in the mirror was you and not that third-rate actress from the movie.   
An outcry escaped your throat and you instinctively slammed your fist. The glass of the mirror clanked, creaked and finally broke under the force of the blow. Shards fell into the sink and you cursed, holding the bleeding knuckles of your right hand. It burned, some tiny splinters had dug into the skin and were now trapped inside. Blood dripped onto the edge of the sink and for a brief moment you were drawn down into the darkness.   
  


The door was unhinged when Eddie stumbled in and black vines immediately examined the room.  
"What the- V, what-?", Eddie seemed to have been forced through the door by Venom, as perplexed as he looked. But when he saw the mirror and your bleeding hand, he was immediately on the spot and anxiously grabbed your wrist. "Ah sweetie, damn it, are you really okay? Cause it sure doesn't look like it!"  
The question was not about your hand, but about your mental state. He was right to ask about it, because after all you had hallucinations in the meantime and smashed mirrors with your bare fist. Add to this the constantly rushing voice in your head and the lack of control of your telekinetic powers.   
"I'm scared," you just brought out and pressed your aching hand against your upper body. "I don't know what's going on!"  
"Hey, hey. It's okay." Immediately, Eddie's hands went up to your face and he lovingly stroked your cheeks. "We'll figure it out, together. No need to panic."  
All you could do was nod, because if you said so much as one word, the tears in the corner of your eye would run down your cheeks and betray you.   
  
Truth was, you weren't just scared, you were downright _desperate_.   
  
You did not want to hurt the two most important people in your life!

Never! 


	4. Control - Part 03

  
When you came to your senses, the light of the refrigerator blinded you for a moment.   
Wait. Fridge?  
  


Confused, you blinked, finally looking around. How had you come to the kitchen? It was the middle of the night, through the ajar window you could only hear distant sirens and the silence of San Francisco.   
  


What the hell was going on here?   
  


"Midnight snack?" You were whirling around so fast it almost made your neck snap. Eddie leaned against the door frame to the kitchen, arms crossed, and concern was in his eyes. "Come on, sweetie, we're worried. You're sleepwalking. That's new."  
Your throat was dry and you were freezing, which could also be because you were still standing in front of the open refrigerator.   
"How long have you been standing there?" you asked and reached for the orange juice in the door of the refrigerator. You were thirsty, such an incredibly burning thirst in your throat.   
"About 15 minutes. Venom wanted to wake you up, but that's not supposed to be so good for sleepwalkers. You wouldn't move either." He came towards you and put one hand on your back. Immediately, black tendrils crept over his hand up to you, stroking gently over the fabric of your shirt.  
Normally you would feel reassured by this touch, but something inside of you immediately rushed against it.

  
  
_**No** , don't touch!_

  
  
You pressed the voice in your head down, breathed deeply and tried to calm your thoughts. Everything was fine. Just because you were sleepwalking didn't mean that there was something wrong with you. Besides, Venom would tell you. The symbiote noticed such things, they noticed even subtle changes on Eddie or you. Venom would tell you if something was off, right?

  
  


**Something's wrong, Eddie. She feels... different.**

  
  
"I know," Eddie murmured softly, and looked anxiously at your sleeping figure next to him in bed. It had taken forever for you to sleep and he could finally talk to Venom about it undisturbed. 

  
  
**We are worried.**

  
  
"Yeah, we are. A lot." Eddie added mentally. 'We shouldn't have gotten caught last month. Then none of this bullshit would have happened.'  
He felt bad. They both did. They longed for strength so you would never have to save them again. Venom was so strong, together they were almost invincible and yet, at that moment, they both felt small and pathetic. Wasn't it their job to protect you above all else? They couldn't even protect their own partner from harm... 

  
Your breath was even and deep, but still you were awake. The voice inside you knew that Venom would notice a change in your breathing. So you stayed calm, breathing even and pretended to be asleep. 

  
  
_Not worry. Fear._

  
  
The voice drilled into your head again like every other night since the day you rescued your boys. It swarmed around your thoughts, clouded your head and lifted control from its anchorages. It happened more and more often, longer and more concerning.   
Only for a few seconds when it first started. You forgot when you had turned on the shower. The coffee you had already poured for yourself. The kiss from Eddie, gone.   
Then it were minutes. Dismissed, you stared at the TV, not remembering watching the news, then suddenly there was the weather report. Whole conversations with Eddie and Venom disappeared into the foggy void. The blackouts increased and soon you didn't remember how you got to the supermarket. On Wednesday you were standing in front of the shelf with canned soup, in your sweatpants and without money. Even stranger was that the supermarket was a full thirty minutes walk from your apartment.   
Since then you hardly dared to sleep. You held back your tiredness with liters of coffee, but whenever you dozed off, panic seized you immediately. Something was wrong, deeply wrong with you.  
Your powers, that voice - it took over more and more of your consciousness. Every day your resistance melted away until at some point it was no longer enough and the walls would fell. Maybe you should really call that Doctor Xavier, who gave you his card a few years ago.   
  


Just in case. That's what he said to you back then. Call me anytime.   
  


Insecurity crept up your neck. Was it the case? Were you already out of control?   
Eddie had finally fallen asleep, turned and pulled you into his arms. You felt his chest against your back, the heartbeat under the fabric, his skin and ribs. It felt disgusting and that shocked you deeply. You loved to cuddle with Eddie, you enjoyed his touch and longed for it every second of your life. Now it gave you unpleasant goose bumps on your upper arms, like a cold breeze.   
  


" **You are awake.** " Venom's black vines crept over your shoulders and drew invisible patterns on your bare skin. Such a lovely, affectionate gesture.   
"I am awake." you acknowledged, but did not turn around. If you did not look at them, then the voice in your head did not scream so loud. The thought of a glowing piece of metal came to your mind as it slowly drilled into your skull. Then this voice would finally shut up.   
" **Morsel, talk to us. Or Eddie, if it helps.** " Venom pleaded urgently. " _ **Please.**_ "  
It was rare that the symbiote was so meek. They usually took matters into their own hands, did what needed to be done. Venom acted when Eddie's warm heart could not. The symbiote was afraid of what would happen if your control failed and the walls broke. Then it had to do what needed to be done.   
Venom was afraid.   
You were afraid.   
  


  
_Afraid of you. Of what you could do with these powers._   
  


  
You wanted to bang your head against the wall so the voice would finally stop. But it was right. These powers were dangerous, even for Venom. They would never admit it, but you could just tear them in half if you wanted to. You repressed the thought for fear it could become real. That the voice made your fears reality and you'd killed the two most important people in your life. You felt nauseous.   
"I'm afraid," you whispered and felt tears rise to your eyes. You moved the corners of your mouth down and breathed shallowly so as not to wake Eddie. Your crying would only make him feel worse.   
"Venom, I'm afraid that I'll hurt you." you continued and felt the tears running down the bridge of your nose and dripping onto the pillow. "I'm not myself anymore. I feel like a stranger to myself, I- I hate this feeling so much."  
You felt the mattress sink under the weight of Venom, who wrapped Eddie in the black tendrils and took control over their host.   
" **Our Love.** " Venom pressed their head into the crook of your neck and a deep purr vibrated through their chest. " **Don't be afraid. We are here. We'll protect you.** "  
"You can't." you replied, wiping the back of your hand across your face. "I could tear you in half if I wanted to."  
Venom growled deeply.   
" **We know. And that's hot.** " they purred and that brought out an amused snort. " **But we don't mean that. We mean you. We protect you from yourself.** "  
"And how do you two plan to do that?" Finally you turned around and looked at Venom. Their white eyes narrowed a little bit and they pressed their forehead against yours. The sticky tongue ran down your cheek, a sign of affection. You could take it as a kiss, so to speak.   
" **Eddie is softhearted** " replied the symbiote, and their arms wrapped around your waist. With a jerk, they turned on their back and pulled you with them, so that you lay on top of their body. " **And I am strong. I will bring you as many heads as you want. Bad guys only. I promise.** "   
You couldn't help but laugh at this fantastic cheering up. Venom gave their all to see you happy, just like Eddie. If push came to shove, would the two of them decide for the good of the other people? Would they rather save them instead of their morsel?  
  
  
No, they wouldn't.

  
"If I ever lose control" You straighten up your upper body, leaned on Venom's chest. "Then you have to stop me, understand?"  
A dissatisfied sound escaped the alien, they didn't seem to like what you were implying. Muscular arms pressed you to their body and the hot tongue licked across your neck. The gesture was loving, emphatic and soothing.   
" **We will not hurt our morsel.** " replied the symbiote. "Never."   
"V, I know, but you have to do it. If it ever comes to that--"  
" _ **It won't.**_ " Their voice became a little louder, deeper and more definite. You let the subject rest, tried to enjoy the body warmth of your partner's body as much as possible - but you felt the symbiote hug you and press you closer to their chest.  
  
  


_Fear._


End file.
